Strange things that happen in local

After getting my dreadnought stuck in some random hole (deliberately, except that we failed at violencing the Thanatos I’d jumped it in there after), I was stuck scanning down that system day after day looking for a good exit. One day, I noticed a bunch of ships, sitting in space around the outer planet. Naturally, I brought in my main in to shoot them. Turns out, they were all sitting, abandoned, at safe spots, at moons, and one just near the planet. Weird. So I blew them all up. Jumping my main back into the highsec I’d used to get in, I found the guy who’d left them all there in local.

Now, since reading about the New Eden Conservation Society, I’ve been very concerned about protecting the Eve environment and ecosystem. And then this happened…

[ 2013.05.06 23:52:26 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Ajanen
[ 2013.05.06 23:52:50 ] Jivlain Pollard > so, uh, what was that all about?
[ 2013.05.06 23:53:12 ] Space Citizen One > all what?
[ 2013.05.06 23:53:44 ] Jivlain Pollard > someone left a bunch of noobships just littering space in a nearby system
[ 2013.05.06 23:53:59 ] Jivlain Pollard > they never consider the environmental implications of such behaviour.
[ 2013.05.06 23:54:30 ] Jivlain Pollard > clearly we need someone to compell environmental impact statements and other such common-sense measures
[ 2013.05.06 23:54:53 ] Space Citizen One > damn and i thought u wanna help me 😀
[ 2013.05.06 23:55:25 ] Ted Mobster > Damn those criminals
[ 2013.05.06 23:55:58 ] Jivlain Pollard > ah, Ted!
[ 2013.05.06 23:56:06 ] Jivlain Pollard > just the man I’m looking to speak too
[ 2013.05.06 23:56:17 ] Jivlain Pollard > have you completed impact statement form C6?
[ 2013.05.06 23:56:20 ] Ted Mobster > I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything.
[ 2013.05.06 23:57:13 ] Ted Mobster > Besides, that’d probably be form C5.
[ 2013.05.06 23:57:20 ] Ted Mobster > I mean, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
[ 2013.05.06 23:58:06 ] Jivlain Pollard > look now, you can’t leave that much tritanium just hanging out in safe spots near planet 11
[ 2013.05.06 23:58:25 ] Jivlain Pollard > I know it’s on the outer edge of the system but that tritanium is seriously unstable and could have injured someone.
[ 2013.05.06 23:58:43 ] Ted Mobster > Hey man, don’t make a space federal case out of it.
[ 2013.05.06 23:59:10 ] Space Citizen One > well i can only state again. if anyone wanna help me out a bit plz get [Some nice things] from me. might be a bit expensive but i would really appreciate the help
[ 2013.05.06 23:59:21 ] Ted Mobster > I mean, I reserve the right to an attorney.
[ 2013.05.06 23:59:22 ] Jivlain Pollard > look, I have to follow procedure here
[ 2013.05.07 00:00:28 ] Jivlain Pollard > oh, lawyering up are we?
[ 2013.05.07 00:00:37 ] Jivlain Pollard > we have ways of making you talk.
[ 2013.05.07 00:00:49 ] Jivlain Pollard > and completing form C6.
[ 2013.05.07 00:01:45 ] Ted Mobster > I get a phone call
[ 2013.05.07 00:02:11 ] Jivlain Pollard > mmmm, but there is a CSPA charge associated with it.
[ 2013.05.07 00:03:01 ] Ted Mobster > You’ll have to collect it from the POS.
[ 2013.05.07 00:03:24 ] Jivlain Pollard > I’m afraid it is payable upfront
[ 2013.05.07 00:03:50 ] Ted Mobster > So… It’s a space standoff.
[ 2013.05.07 00:04:00 ] Jivlain Pollard > though if you put down a deposit, we can arrange a payment plan
[ 2013.05.07 00:04:08 ] Jivlain Pollard > that will require form D13 though.
[ 2013.05.07 00:04:34 ] Ted Mobster > This is like that trip to space angola all over again!
[ 2013.05.07 00:04:44 ] Ted Mobster > This is an outrage. I am a spaceman.
[ 2013.05.07 00:06:02 ] Jivlain Pollard > we can’t just go bending the rules on behalf of everyone who says they come from geelong, or st ive’s, or space.
[ 2013.05.07 00:06:13 ] Jivlain Pollard > it’s the same system for everyone you know.
[ 2013.05.07 00:08:35 ] Ted Mobster > Expect a formal complaint from the space embassy!
[ 2013.05.07 00:09:34 ] Jivlain Pollard > naturally we carefully consider, and then ignore, all such complaints.
[ 2013.05.07 00:10:17 ] Jivlain Pollard > also, those wishing to claim an excemption as foreign nationals will have to complete form F2.
[ 2013.05.07 00:12:30 ] Ted Mobster > Name, rank and space serial number is all you’re getting out of me.
[ 2013.05.07 00:21:39 ] Jivlain Pollard > yes, but you’ll need to provide them on form F2.
[ 2013.05.07 00:22:28 ] Jivlain Pollard > which you can get at your local space planning council office.
[ 2013.05.07 00:23:08 ] Ted Mobster > The space planning council is a joke. You know it, and I know it.
[ 2013.05.07 00:27:14 ] Jivlain Pollard > not really, all forms are clearly categorised in the basement for your convenience
[ 2013.05.07 00:27:39 ] Ted Mobster > Sure, in a locked filing cabinet no doubt.
[ 2013.05.07 00:28:15 ] Jivlain Pollard > the panther is quite friendly, to be fair
[ 2013.05.07 00:30:25 ] Thrack Mazuk > ?
[ 2013.05.07 00:31:47 ] Jivlain Pollard > we have here an environmental vandal who refuses to fill out form C6, form D13 or form F2, even though they are freely available in a locked filing cabinet guarded by a panther in the basement of the local space planning council office.
[ 2013.05.07 00:33:10 ] Ted Mobster > The stairs are gone.
[ 2013.05.07 00:33:42 ] Ted Mobster > And I’m sure you’ll find the sign says, “Beware of the leopard.”
[ 2013.05.07 00:36:02 ] Space Citizen One > Maxx Ibanez o/ just telling u that i am currently at my tv. so u dont have to bother
[ 2013.05.07 00:36:20 ] Jivlain Pollard > complaints about the accuracy of warning signs can usually be made with form W1, except it is currently being chewed by the aforementioned panther.

For some reason, the longer I carry on any conversation, the odds that Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy references will burst obtrusively in approaches 1.

Killmails, plus one more with random bonus venture.

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